MittleMan
Not an actual letter from FICO, but I wouldn't be surprised.
Dear consumer:
We are excited to announce the sale of our new ‘FICO pin’. This beautiful piece will display your score. Just imagine the envy and admiration of your family, friends, and co-workers as they see you proudly display your score right on your lapel. You’ll make new friends and people may even find you ‘sexy’. And when you’re ready we have ‘Gold pin’ for scores of 700 or better and yes, the ‘800 club’ gets a platinum pin. Those who pay for their FICO score more than 100 times in any 12-month period are qualified for a discount (subject to approval, of course).
Please remember what FICO means; it is a measure of your profitability to creditors. Just having a good credit report is not enough; you need to have a lot of accounts and be using them all the time- that’s how creditors make money and that’s how your score goes up. Don’t you want creditors to look at you as their greatest source of profit? And please don’t bother yourself worrying about your ‘SAVO score’ (Amount in savings). While we agree that your SAVO score is the most important score to your finances, we prefer that you continue view our score as the real measure.
A special thanks to those who are pathetic enough to display their scores in their e-mail signatures, people really think highly of you when they see that!
Thank you and keep pulling scores – have you checked today?
Side note: Some of you have had questions about our scoring system. We will go as far as telling you ‘too many’, ‘too few’, ‘too little’, ‘too high’, ‘too new’, etc… But don’t expect us to ever quantify what the actual numbers are. This information might help you and prevent you from pulling a score so often. We understand it is important to you, but we will not provide it. We resolve that conflict because we don’t operate from conscience; we operate on profit – regardless of the impact on you.
Don’t bother complaining to anyone. The current administration is far too busy working on tax-cuts for the wealthiest, and bankruptcy reform that will hurt those most in need. FCRA – well, it only means something if it is enforced
Dear consumer:
We are excited to announce the sale of our new ‘FICO pin’. This beautiful piece will display your score. Just imagine the envy and admiration of your family, friends, and co-workers as they see you proudly display your score right on your lapel. You’ll make new friends and people may even find you ‘sexy’. And when you’re ready we have ‘Gold pin’ for scores of 700 or better and yes, the ‘800 club’ gets a platinum pin. Those who pay for their FICO score more than 100 times in any 12-month period are qualified for a discount (subject to approval, of course).
Please remember what FICO means; it is a measure of your profitability to creditors. Just having a good credit report is not enough; you need to have a lot of accounts and be using them all the time- that’s how creditors make money and that’s how your score goes up. Don’t you want creditors to look at you as their greatest source of profit? And please don’t bother yourself worrying about your ‘SAVO score’ (Amount in savings). While we agree that your SAVO score is the most important score to your finances, we prefer that you continue view our score as the real measure.
A special thanks to those who are pathetic enough to display their scores in their e-mail signatures, people really think highly of you when they see that!
Thank you and keep pulling scores – have you checked today?
Side note: Some of you have had questions about our scoring system. We will go as far as telling you ‘too many’, ‘too few’, ‘too little’, ‘too high’, ‘too new’, etc… But don’t expect us to ever quantify what the actual numbers are. This information might help you and prevent you from pulling a score so often. We understand it is important to you, but we will not provide it. We resolve that conflict because we don’t operate from conscience; we operate on profit – regardless of the impact on you.
Don’t bother complaining to anyone. The current administration is far too busy working on tax-cuts for the wealthiest, and bankruptcy reform that will hurt those most in need. FCRA – well, it only means something if it is enforced